Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile,a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment,or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn alife around.
- Leo Buscaglia -
"The Winner is always part of the answer; The Loser is always part of the problem.¨
"The Winner always has a program; The Loser always has an excuse.¨
"The Winner says, "Let me do it for you"; The Loser says, "That is not my job."¨
"The Winner sees an answer for every problem; The Loser sees a problem for every answer.¨
"The Winner says, "It may be difficult but it is possible"; The Loser says, "It may be possible but it is too difficult."¨
"When a Winner makes a mistake, he says, "I was wrong"; When a Loser makes a mistake, he says, "It wasn't my fault."¨
"A Winner makes commitments; A Loser makes promises.¨
"Winners have dreams; Losers have schemes.¨
"Winners say, "I must do something"; Losers say, "Something must be done."¨
"Winners are a part of the team; Losers are apart from the team.¨
"Winners see the gain; Losers see the pain.¨
"Winners see possibilities; Losers see problems.¨
"Winners believe in win-win; Losers believe for them to win someone has to lose.¨
"Winners see the potential; Losers see the past.¨
"Winners are like a thermostat; Losers are like thermometers.¨
"Winners choose what they say; Losers say what they choose.¨
"Winners use hard arguments but soft words; Losers use soft arguments but hard words.¨
"Winners stand firm on values but compromise on petty things; Losers stand firm on petty things but compromise on values.¨
"Winners follow the philosophy of empathy: "Don't do to others what you would not want them to do to you"; Losers follow the philosophy, "Do it to others before they do it to you."¨
"Winners make it happen; Losers let it happen."
- Author Unknown -
Lessons from a Butterfly
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly
One day a small opening appeared
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
It struggled to force its body through that little hole
Then it seemed to stop making any progress
It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could
And it could go no farther.
So the man decided to help the butterfly
He took a pair of scissors and snipped off
The remaining bit of the cocoon.
The butterfly then emerged easily, BUT,
It had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings
He continued to watch the butterfly
He expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge
And the body would contract
Neither happened!In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling
Around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.
It was never able to fly.
The man acted with well-intentioned kindness
But he didn't understand the consequences.
The restricting cocoon and the struggle required to get
Through the tiny opening, were nature's way of forcing fluid
From the body of the butterfly once it achieved,
It's freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.
If nature allowed us to go through life without any
Obstacles, it would cripple us.
We would not be as strong as we could have been
And we could never fly
Have a great day, great life, and struggle a little.
- Author Unknown -
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry,
Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares,
Its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.
Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday.
We cannot undo a single act we performed;
We cannot erase a single word we said.Yesterday is gone forever.
The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow
With all its possible adversities, its burdens,its large promise and its poor performance;
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is yet to be born.
This leaves only one day, Today.
Any person can fight the battle of just one day.
It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities
Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down.
- Author unknown -
Mind proceeds all phenomena,
Mind matters most,
Everything is mind made.
If within an impure mind,
You speak or act,
Suffering follows you,
As the cartwheel follows,
The foot of the draft animal.
If with a pure mind,
You speak or act,
Then happiness follows you,
As a shadow that never departs.
- First words of Dhammapada -
People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.
We can do no great things - only small things with great love.
- Mother Teresa -
”If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you like to win, but you think you can’t,
It is almost certain you won’t.”
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost
For out in the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow’s will -
It’s all in the state of mind.
”If you think you’re outclassed, you are,
You’ve got to think high to rise,
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.”
Life’s battles don’t always go,
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!”
Excerpt from Napoleon Hill's book - Think and Grow Rich
Do not take anything as being forever, because forever is only as long as today.
Know that the people who are the richest are not those who have the most, but those who need the least.
That we are at our strongest when life is at its worst, and at our weakest when life no longer offers a challenge.
That it is wiser not to expect, but to hope, for in expecting you ask for disappointment, whereas in hoping, you invite surprise.
That unhappiness doesn't come from not having something you want, but from the lack of something inside that you need.
That there are things to hold and things to let go, and letting go doesn't mean you lose, but that you acquire that which has been waiting around the corner.
Most of all ... remember to use your dreams as a way of knowing yourself better, and as an inspiration to reach for your star.
- Author unknown -
Charles Plumb was a US Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience!
One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!" "How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb. "I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked!" Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your 'chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."
Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says,"I kept wondering what he had looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat; a bib in the back; and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said 'Good morning, how are you?' or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor." Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent at a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each 'chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know.
Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?" Everyone has someone who provides what he or she needs to make it through the day. He also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory - he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.
Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason. As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize people who pack your parachutes.
I am keeping this inspiring story here in this blog as my way of thanking all of your part in packing my parachute. And I hope you would want to forward this message to all those who have helped pack yours!
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 note?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the 20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who LOVE and ADMIRE YOU. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. Count your blessings, not your problems. And remember: amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic that sank. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
- Author Unknown -
Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree, each with ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds. We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more trees ?
"Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us: "Most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once.
This might mean:
You'll contact ten prospects to get one order.
You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.
You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.
You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, car, vacuum cleaner, insurance policy, or idea.
And you might meet a hundred acquaintances to find one special friend.
When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed. We stop feeling like victims. Laws of Nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them - and work with them.
Successful people fail more often. They plant more seeds.
When Things Are beyond Your Control, Here's a recipe for permanent misery:
a) Decide how you think the world SHOULD be.
b) Make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.
Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, get angry! That's what miserable people do!
Let's say you expect that:
- Friends SHOULD return favors.
- People SHOULD appreciate you.
- Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
- Everyone SHOULD be honest.
- Your spouse SHOULD remember your birthday.
These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen! So you end up frustrated and disappointed.
There's a better Strategy !! Have fewer demands. Instead, have preferences!
For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself: "I WOULD PREFER "A", BUT IF "B" HAPPENS, IT'S OK TOO!" This is really a game that you play in your head. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind.
You prefer that people are polite .. But when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day.
You prefer sunshine ... but rain is ok!
To become happier, we either need to a) Change the world, or b) Change our thinking.
It is easier to change our thinking!
IN A NUTSHELL, it's not what happens to you that determines your happiness. It's how many opportunities you create for winning and how you think about what happens to you that does!
- Author unknown -
A professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see & asked the students,' How much do you think this glass weighs?
'50 gm!' ...'100 gm!' ......'125 gm' ......the students answered.
'I really don't know unless I weigh it,' said the professor, 'but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?'
'Nothing' the students said.
'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked. Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students.
'You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?' Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!' ventured another student & all the students laughed.
'Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change? asked the professor. 'No'
'Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?' The students were puzzled.
'Put the glass down!' said one of the students. 'Exactly! said the professor.
Life problems are something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK. Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache. Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything. It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to 'put them down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh & strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!
' Remember friend to 'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friend the following afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him, and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, I saw a tear in his eye. I handed him his glasses and said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives."
He looked at me and said, "Hey, thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. It turned out he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before coming to this school.
I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Damn boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!". He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.
When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day arrived - I saw Kyle and he looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than me and all the girls loved him! Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."
I stared at my friend in disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse.
- Author unknown -
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.
It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza. He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."
This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time... and remember that time waits for no one...
So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy...
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.- Author unknown -
1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING . . .But you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening.
2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION . . .Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.
3) THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER . . .Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."
4) THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE . . .It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life.
5) THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT . . .A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job" or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.
6) THE GIFT OF A FAVOR . . .Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.
7) THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE . . .There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.
8) THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION . . .The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, really it's not that hard to say, Hello or Thank You. Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us.
- Author Unknown -
To be a little kindlier
With the passing of each day;
To leave but happy memories
As I go along my way.
To use possessions that are mine
In service full and free;
To sacrifice the trivial things
For larger good to be.
To give of love in lavish way
That friendship true may live;
To be less quick to criticize,
More ready to forgive.
To use such talents as I have
That happiness may grow;
To take the bitter with the sweet,
Assured 'tis better so.
To be quite free from self-intent
Whate'er the task I do;
To help the world's faith stronger grow,
In all that's good and true.
To keep my faith in God and right
No matter how things run;
To work and play and pray and trust
Until the journey's done.
God grant to me the strength of heart,
Of motive and of will,
To do my part and falter not
His purpose to fulfill.
- Poem by Ms. Henrietta Heron -